All Dem Nightmares

Every single night, I'm having nightmares now. They don't even make sense, though. There was one where I was at Wal-Mart and forgot my wallet. I woke up terrified, my brain is weird. THAT ISN'T EVEN SORT OF SCARY! Noooooow, though, I keep having this recurring dream about a zombie chicken (who is also a robot, sometimes) that runs around and tries to peck my eyes out. Four or five nights in a row this has been happening. I just don't know. I can't even begin to understand what the hell it could mean.

Btw, it looks nothing like this, but I couldn't find anything else that didn't look really stupid and make me feel bad about my subconscious. 

Irrelevancy Part 2 of the Woe is Me Series

I think that most people blog so that the world can hear what they have to say. People want to believe that they have a voice. I realize that no on wants to hear what I think. I mean, you internet people, don't; people in real life, they especially don't want to hear about it. Because this is the internet, though, I feel like, eventually, something I say will resonate with another human. Maybe it will, maybe it won't; but I'll never know unless I write it. So, hear I am, writing again to people that may or may not exist. I hope you exist. I hope there are people out there that get a kick out of my words. I doubt it, but even if it never happens, I'm ok with it. Writing, to me, is therapeutic. I find contentment when the thoughts inside my brain get put down on paper or typed out for the masses (or lack thereof) to read. It helps my mind not get so jumbled and confusing. Maybe I'm irrelevant, but it's ok, because so are you.

This has been a public service message from Jessi.

I Want to Be a Writer... But This is the Internet, Doesn't Everyone?

I've always enjoyed writing and I think I came up with a decent idea. I just need to start doing research. The issue is that I don't know what to do after the writing part of it. I realize that I'm getting the cart waaaaaaaay ahead of the horse, but these are the things I worry about. OK. I will update later. I want to get started.

Wedding Mania

Sooooo, my husband's brother and my sister are getting married exactly one week from each other, in one month from now. I am the maid of honor in one and a bridesmaid in the other. But, with each wedding there are other things going on (isn't that always the case) that require me to play a larger role than MOH and BM (I don't care, you're going to follow those because I'm not typing them out every time). My husband lost both of his parents in his teens, so for his brother's wedding there are things the groom's family is supposed to do, but there isn't anyone there to do them. For my sister's wedding, she had a baby two weeks ago AND has a two-year-old, she's busy with other things.

So, cute, right?

Where I live, the groom's mother is supposed to throw the bridal shower to "accept" the bride into her family. My brother-in-law's mother is deceased, so you would assume that another female family member would do the honors. Here's where that gets sticky. My husband's family were never close to any of the extended members of their family. They live in a different state and they have a weird relationship. Welp, there goes that. There are three boys and my husband is the only married one, so that leaves me... Luckily, I've been friends with all three brothers since middle school, so at least I wasn't coming into this blind, but stepping into the shoes of someone's mom is really hard. REALLY. HARD. I threw a bridal shower, but with work schedules and other life stuff going on, it had to come together really quickly and some people didn't get to come. The bride, even though she didn't complain, I think she was a little hurt. I understand that, my own bridal shower was somewhat disappointing and I got really mad that only one of my bridesmaid even showed. Luckily, my brother-in-law and his fiancee have everything else planned out, so short of renting my husband's tux and buying a few other little things, we're done. But, between the tux, my shoes, the bridal shower, and little other incidentals the money is piling up (we poor). I am honored to have been asked to be in the wedding and if it were the only one going on, everything would be a non-issue.

My sister is an amazing planner. She planned my wedding because I'm basically a guy and didn't want to do it. She is creative and thrifty and we only spent $300 on our whole wedding, which is perfect for us. But, now she has two bebes and her time is spread pretty thin. She hasn't formally asked me to help her with her wedding, but I know that she needs my help right now. I've spent hours on Pinterest and Etsy trying to find cute things for her themed wedding, hoping that we have enough time to make them (again poor) in 35 days. Luckily, her theme is country wedding and we live in the country, so that shouldn't be too terribly difficult. Unfortunately, I'm really bad at these things. I don't have the girl part of the brain that makes these things easy. I worry that I'm picking things out for her that I WANT. 

I love both of these brides and both of the grooms are ok, I guess. =) I am so happy to be included in their special days, I just wish they could have gotten married a few months apart.

Also, I may have to miss some college football and THAT JUST DOESN'T FLY. Don't be mad if I'm checking ESPN.com during our bridesmaids luncheons.

Why is Everything So Difficult? Part 1 of the Woe is Me Series

I want to go to college, I love school. I always have. But EVERY SEMESTER I have to fill out this paperwork proving that my taxes are correct. I don't know anyone else who has to do this, let alone, do it every semester. It's almost enough to make me just not want to finish. Scratch that, it is enough. I'm over it. I'm just so frustrated with the system, but I know that I'm the worst part. I have a hard time getting things started. I plan on doing the coolest things, but I never follow through with them. It's not fear holding me back, but a complete lack of desire to accomplish anything. But only half the time. Sometimes I can't get things done fast enough for my liking. I'll wake up at 2 AM and have to vacuum out my car BECAUSE IT HAS TO BE DONE RIGHT NOW. I'm abnormal.

A Post About Ice and Fire (Spoiler if you've just watched the show)

George R.R. Martin (GRRM because I'm lazy) is a genius, an old genius who is most likely going to die before he ever finishes writing this series. I mean, come on, there are thousands of blogs telling you that if you don't write faster, we're going to have to form a mob and force you to write by any means necessary. But I digress, here is a list of ten reasons ASOIAF is the best book series I've ever read.

10. Best Bad Guys:
Joffrey is the hugest douche in seven kingdoms full of douches. I am so glad he dies in a terribly painful way before getting to bone Margaery. By the time this inbred monster became king, I wanted to set him on fire, with or without dragons. My hatred (and yours, if you're a human) burned so hot that words don't even exist for me to be able to explain it.

9. Best Good Guys:
I get it. Tyrion is a Lannister and they're supposed to be evil, but damn do I love him. He is my third favorite character (Arya and Dany, respectively). He says and does what he wants, others be damned. Dany is so loving and warm that I just want to be friends with her, I would clean out the dragon pit to hang out with her (no, no I wouldn't). Flip it on its ear, and she is a complete bad ass if you piss her off. She is the blood of the dragon and she will dracarys on you if you mess with her.

8. Bad Guys Who Become Good Guys:
The Hound. I love him. Seriously, the dude deserves your respect for being burned ON HIS FACE as a child by a sadistic older brother and turning out to be a decent human being. He is kind to Sansa, when she most definitely does not deserve it. (The whole war is her fault, her father's death and subsequent death of everyone, at least once, is her fault.) He saves Arya even when he knows that she wants him dead. Then, there is Jaime Lannister. I hated Jaime, he pushed Bran off of a tower just because he couldn't keep his little lion out of his sister, he stabs Ned in the leg, and is just a general dickbag for about three books. But then... enter Brienne, ugly, homely, fantasticly scary Brienne, and he keeps her from being raped, steps in when she is fighting a bear with a wooden stick, and they fall in love (gonna happen, I'm calling it right now). She makes him more human, more lovable.

7. Fucking Dragons:
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSS.

6. Relationship Dynamics:
If you didn't fall in love with Khal Drogo when he first had sex with Dany, you're definitely jaded. That was a beautiful scene. There aren't the only ones though, Ned and Catelyn had a wonderful relationship. Tyrion is very understanding of Sansa's reluctance to be with him. GRRM understands relationships, which is insane if you look at him.

5. Lots and Lots of Sexytime:
Everyone has sex with everyone. There is SO MUCH SEX. It's like Fifty Shades of Grey, but with kinkier sex and less suck.

4. Character Development:
The Onion Knight, specifically, has a very dramatic character arc throughout the series. Other characters do as well, but his is the most obvious.

3. Everyone Dies, but Then Un-dies:
Let's make a list, shall we? Bran, Rickon, Catelyn, Arya, Tyrion, Theon, The Hound, Aegon. Those are just the ones I can think of without actually doing any research. You're lead to believe they are dead, you mourn them, then BAM! GRRM brings them back and only one of them is a zombie.

2. It Evokes Emotion From the Reader:
Think about when Ned died, did you cry? I did. I cried so much. I cried when I thought Bran died. I cried during the Red Wedding. I cried when Sam and Gilly had sex. I just cried through the whole series. I got angry when Tyrion was accused of murder and when Cersei got locked up in the tower. I felt like I was there, with the characters.

1. It Actually Surprises Me:
I read A LOT and I don't get surprised very often because most stories have already been told. When Petyr pushed Lady Arryn out of the giant sky hole (imagery, amirite?), I was genuinely surprised. GRRM killed off his main character in the first book of a huge epic series, it's just not done, by anyone, ever. His writing catches me off guard and makes reading it more enjoyable.

Now, GRRM, go write something. And stop talking about bacon and trenchers. It's weird.

Also, if you don't explain who Coldhands is (I think he's Benjen), where Benjen is (if he isn't Coldhands), and who the hell Jon Snow's parents are (obviously, Rhaegar and Lyanna), I'm going to lose my damn mind. Stop taunting us and just drop some truth on us. We can handle it. I'm not kidding about that mob.

Not Funny Post About My Sister

My little sister is in the hospital. She's pregnant with her second child and severely dehydrated. I'm very worried about her. For all the crazy shit we put each other through when we were younger (or not that much younger), we've become quite close since my niece was born.

I just really hope she's ok.

Plus, she was mad at me for not mentioning her in my blog. Happy now, Jo? Feel better.