Not Funny Post About My Sister

My little sister is in the hospital. She's pregnant with her second child and severely dehydrated. I'm very worried about her. For all the crazy shit we put each other through when we were younger (or not that much younger), we've become quite close since my niece was born.

I just really hope she's ok.

Plus, she was mad at me for not mentioning her in my blog. Happy now, Jo? Feel better.

Strawberry Nightmares

I have some stomach bug, maybe the flu. I don't know. I'm not going to the doctor, because doctors are doodooheads. But, while letting this illness run its course, I have had a high fever. I have the most insane dreams when I'm sick, especially when I'm feverish.

Does this scare you? No? Because you're a logical person, who isn't insane. 

Does this?

See those two pictures up there? Combine those. That's the crazy ass nightmare I had last night. Zombie fruit trying to eat my face and entangle me within their vines. To be clear, I am not crazy, nor am I scared of strawberries when I'm lucid. For some reason, though, those evil strawberries were determined to eat me and start a colony inside of my stomach. They also recruited my husband, so every time he tried to get me to wake up, I knew he was helping them. I was so angry with him for betraying me to the strawberries that I forced him to sleep on the couch. (Probably a good thing since I woke up without a fever, but drenched in sweat.) Who gets angry at someone for betraying them in a dream TO STRAWBERRIES?

I might have brain damage.